New Year, New Me…?

Well, maybe not quite. I won’t be one of those people who have a yearly january Fitness Club card, and uses it twice. Nor do I have any major vices I need to put aside. Or do I? It’s true that I don’t do drugs, I don’t have a drinking problem, and I’m not a carreer criminal. But how often have I actively lessened myself? In either speech or thought. How many times, have I told myself ‘You cant’ or ‘That wont work for you’ in this past year alone? Honestly, too many too count I think.

It’s very easy as someone with mental health issues in this world, to feel like everything is keeping us down. And I get that, I do. But at the same time, I think it’s easy to forget how much we, ourselves, CAN be a contributing factor. I know, I know, this sounds like more ‘just be poisitive!’ bullsh*t that we have all heard a million times before. But I’m not talking about suddenly thinking the world is puppies and rainbows. Maybe a small change is a good first step? Maybe, instead of ‘I cant’, I should try with ‘This will be challenging, but..’?. Maybe, instead of ‘That wont work for you’ I could try ‘Doing nothing hasn’t worked, so why not try?’. But trying comes with the fear of failure, and let’s not underestimate that. Anxiety tell us that, if we try and fail, we’ll never let ourselves hear the end of it. And you know what, that makes a lot of sense. However, making sense doesn’t mean it should be challenged. After all, it once made sense to everyone that the sun revolved around the earth.

Have I found a magic wand that will instantly and conviniently make this change happen over night? I wish. But maybe, a small push every now and again is enough to get the ball rolling. And I’m not saying I’ll be free of my Anxiety by March or something like that, not at all. Maybe – as is in fact most likely – it will be with me for life. All I’m saying is, I’m going to try to see if I can at least push the ball a little bit. Will you push with me?

Happy New Year

-AA

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