Ok, right, elephant in the room time: Sorry for taking so long to make another post. Life gets in the way, busy busy, third generic excuse. Truth is, I’ve just been struggling to find something that mattered enough to put into words, in regards to what this blog is about. but I think I found it.
Let’s talk about drawing lines. I’m sure I’m not the only one who struggles with this, nor is it something exclusive to someone with my challenges, or similar ones. Telling someone ‘No, this is enough now’ is hard for a myriad of reasons, chief among them – at least for me – is self worth. Is it really ok for me to have limits? Am I not just ‘being aspy’? Do I really have the same rights as everyone else? And yes, I do. Even when and if it doesn’t feel like I’m worth it. Today I had to stand up for myself, and say enough was enough. The context is not particularly important, more the act itself. Not only did it take me a full 24 hours from deciding to do so, to actually doing so. It also took me about 45 minuttes to write it down (It was sent via email).
But I did it. Even if it wasn’t easy. Even if it means that I was a wreck all day yesterday being nervous about doing so, and even if it means I’m exhausted now from having done it. And I have to try my best to take pride in that. It may make you feel like a shitty person to say no – it certainly does me – but some times, we need to. And we shouldn’t be ashamed of that. Which, I know, is just number 243.178 on the ‘easier said than done’ list. But here’s the thing about this whole shebang
Drawing a line, is on you. It’s not something someone can do for you. Hell, it’s barely something someone can HELP with, other than helping you reach the descision to do so. Fact is, some times, only YOU can feel when a line has been crossed, a limit violated, etc. And we owe it to ourselves to then draw that line and say ‘do not cross’. Because if we don’t, people won’t respect that line. And we’re worth better than that. We truly are.
Until next time, Lovelies